"Bad Guy"

Say Hello!!!!


You might wonder why I use so much music when speaking about my life, well music is the fuel to my soul its so easy to get someone to understand what I am going through by relating things to the music that gets me through the day ..




Honesty is something  I've always thought was one of the most important things in a relationship. But it seems with honesty comes reality and at times I don't think the other person wants to hear you'r reality. It seems I am dubbed a "Bad Guy" because I like to share my inner thoughts  keeping things as real as possible. It almost seems like the more honest you are the more the other person is seeking truth. This has always been odd to me, why search so hard when someone is obviously delivering so much honesty.


Jaboy

( World of Girls )

I often hear a couple in love say "We are meant for each other" I have always had a problem with this statement. I believe that there is a reason for being millions of woman/men on this planet. I believe there is thousands of woman out there that I would do well with,  the thing is how do I connect with one of these thousands of woman.  As I sit here typing this message I am listening to a song that speaks just about this subject. "Living in a world of girls"

So as I embark on this journey of self discovery and new relationships I go in with a open mind and knowing that there are thousands of woman (NOW CHOOSE 1)    :)

"When You love Someone"

I was driving on the interstate this morning and popped in some old CD. It amazes me how one minute you can be so low then the next you feel this huge emotion of relief.  On the hook of the song that was playing it kept repeating “When you love someone you just don’t treat them bad” To me this is such a strong sentence. I have never considered myself a heartbreaker I have actually been the exact opposite as I look back at my life I cannot even remember a time where I was not committed in some sort of relationship  it is almost like I am just good at it.

I would have to say today I am drained so I will leave you with some powerful lyrics from Donell Jones

[Verse 1]
I said I left my baby girl a message 
Sayin' I won't be coming home 
I'd rather be alone 
She doesn't fully understand me 
That I'd rather leave than to cheat 
If she gives me some time 
I can be the man she needs 
But there's a lot of lust inside of me 
And we've been together since our teenage years 
I really don't mean to hurt her, but I need some time 
To be alone 

[Chorus 1]
But when you love someone 
You just don't treat them bad 
Oh, how I feel so sad 
Now that I wanna leave 
She's crying her heart to me 
How could you let this be? 
I just need time to see 
Where I wanna be 
Where I wanna be... 

Sweet little dee-do-dee-dee... 
I don't mean to hurt you, baby, oh, no, no... 

[Verse 2]
Never did I imagine 
That you would play a major part 
In a decision that's so hard 
Do I leave, do I stay, do I go? 
I think about my life and what matters to me the most 
Girl, the love that we share is real 
But in time your heart will heal 
I'm not saying I'm gone 
But I have to find what life is like 
Without you 

[Chorus 1]

Sweet little dee-do-dee-dee... 
I don't mean to hurt you, baby 

[Chorus 2 x3]
See when you love someone 
You just don't treat them bad 
Oh, how I feel so sad 
Now that I wanna leave 
She's crying her heart to me 
How could you let this be? 
And I just need time to see 
Where I wanna be 

Where I wanna be.

Consequences Aaron !!

The first time I saw Vanilla Sky I fell in love with it ! With all of the drama and stress this movie really does hit close to home, if you have not seen this movie please rent it ASAP!. 

I was having a conversation with my sister tonight we talked about being "Good People" Its funny because we both agreed that good people still feel emotion for people who have done them wrong. Through my entire divorce my greatest pains are the fact I feel I abandoned my ex. I worked so hard to keep my family together but when you get to the point where life is so bad you cannot stand the pain anymore sometimes you have to leave the situation. What our relationship lacked was the "little things" and in life there is "nothing bigger"

(Consequences Aaron )

I do not know what my future holds

But I pray to god I made the right decisions  

Loneliness

I can remember watching a (Michael Jackson Documentary) In the documentary Michael would often talk about how "lonely" he was, I thought it just sounded  stupid how someone could be so lonely yet surrounded by so many people. This year has been a year where those judgments of mine have become of reality in my own world. Just 2 years ago I was a Happily married man with small children and a decent job. What amazes me is how fast everything can change. My blogs are in no way success stories or meant for any kind of empowerment, they are just writings of someone who is working through some major issues in his life.

I remember a phrase "Jack of all trades, master of none" I always felt like this sentence somehow belonged to me. I started out as a drummer who was good enough to play on a stage but not great enough to compare with the other talented drummers in my state. I can remember sitting at my desk writing down a list of things I felt I could master. It is  funny with all  the different things I tried I actually found something in "Photography" this gift started when I was 28 and perfected at 30. It also seemed as while I was growing my business everything else began to fall apart. I would never blame my Divorce on my business it was just another factor that piled up to my destruction of my family. This first blog is more of a introduction blog! so "Hi my Name is Jaboy" Before you begin reading my post remember I am in no was a writer so please do not try to correct my grammatical errors ! these post are more therapeutic than anything else.




I will also end all of my blogs with some sort of media from my business.  




Jaboy